If you’ve ever wondered what a gallon of sweetened iced tea looks like when it’s spread out about 1/16-of-an-inch thick, it looks a lot like my kitchen floor. Covered in iced tea.
Awesome.
Though, my girlfriend, Kate, quickly identified at least three positives: 1) the container wasn’t glass; 2) it didn’t land on my toes; and 3) it wasn’t milk. All valid.
Worst part: We don’t even drink iced tea. We bought it for someone else.
Until moments before the torrent was unleashed, I had been watching Apocalypto, half of me wondering why the native tribe was cutting people’s hearts out, the other half wondering why Mel Gibson is still allowed to make movies.
I now understand one of those two.
And I’m still thirsty.
Filed under: Random, Sports | Tags: Belmont Stakes, Big Brown, Horse racing, Triple Crown
Update: So, he didn’t win. He finished last. Why? Probably, no one will ever know. My point exactly.
You could fairly say the city I live in – and the entire region, actually – is really into horse racing. Like, sometimes-on-the-verge-of-creepy into horse racing.
That’s fine. I have nothing against the sport. But I’m not from here — and I totally don’t get it. I’m told by people who are from here that that’s because I don’t really understand what horse racing is all about: the history, the mystique, the beauty of such powerful animals competing.
No … no I don’t think that’s it.
When it comes to sports, I like humans. When a human outfielder in baseball makes a spectacular diving catch, I appreciate it because, as a fellow human, I can understand just how difficult that was to do.
Or, if the same outfielder falls down while fielding a routine base hit, turning it into an inside-the-park home run, I know he can understand exactly what I’m screaming about his mother — and that gives me a sense of connection to the whole enterprise, ownership, kinship even.
To me, a horse is a horse. They’re big, they run fast — sometimes with little men in shiny pants on top. Going to the track once a year is fun as a spectacle, almost as much to watch the people who really like horse racing as the horse racing itself.
And so Big Brown may win the Triple Crown today. I wish him luck. If he does, my bosses will sell many newspapers, which is always a good day in my book. That horse may make a lot of people big bucks and very happy — or furious. But I don’t think he’ll know it, either way. And where’s the fun in that?
